My Magical Television Or Why I'm Surrounded By Perverts

I own a really nice TV. (Not at all to brag) It's so nice in fact, that the built in tuners allow me to pick up an outrageous amount of channels. I remember when the cable guy installed my cable; both of us would sit at my TV as it scanned the available channels. "Wow! That is….a LOT.. of channels.” the cable guy would say, as we watched the numbers continue to roll from 40 channels available to 100, to 200 and so forth.

We sat and sat; eventually he just gave up and left because my TV was still continuing to pick up new channels."You're probably not supposed to get that many channels.” he said as he got up to leave. And that was it! He acknowledged that I was picking up around 200 channels more than I was supposed to, but was too lazy to do anything about it.

So what does someone do with 300 channels you ask? (Without a box mind you) Normally when you flip through the channels it goes something like this, "1, 2, 3, 4” and so on. On my TV, it goes something like this,"1,2,3,3.5,3.6,3.7,4,5,5.1” and so on. Apparently you can pick up decimal point channels. Who knew!?!

But here's where things get interesting! Most of those channels are duplicates of other channels, except in a different time zone. However, I've got a good 20 channels or so that display whatever everyone else in the neighborhood is watching! For example, if someone in my neighborhood is watching the Disney Channel, MTV or Starz, that very same channel appears on my TV! Not to mention that it's all in real-time too. So if someone presses pause or rewinds, my TV will also pause or rewind.

Every once in a while I'll check out those channels to see what people are watching. Sometimes I'll catch a new release movie or even a movie in HD, and other times I catch people skimming through movies. It's always fascinating to see which part of a movie people will fast forward through, refusing to only watch their favorite moments. Although honestly, half the time the fast forwarding is only to get to the next sex scene....and then looped.